MarriedLife

Question of the Day!

2005-03-10T10:04:00.000-08:00

I know that there are a lot of parents out there that will do anything to protect their children from any harm or danger that may come to them. So here is my questions. Why do parents that smoke insist on smoking around their children? Is the addiction that strong that they would risk their children's life just to feed their habits. Don't parents know that what they are doing to themselves they are doing to their children in an even worse way. I thought about this while sitting at the bus stop one morning and saw a man smoking a cigarette at 6:30 in the morning. He probably did have his morning coffee yet and he is smoking. Then I thought about that mothers and fathers that drive their children to school at 7:00 in the morning and how they are sitting in the minivan smoking with their 5 or 6 year old and sometimes a new born or a 8 month old. And to justify their actions or to say that they are protecting their children they have the window open while they smoke and drive. I'm not a smoker so I don't get it. What's more important actually mentally and physically protecting your children or feeding your habit?

Blck men dying earlier than whites, report says

2005-03-10T10:01:00.000-08:00

Unequal health care resulting in higher mortality rates
WASHINGTON - Middle-age black men are dying at nearly twice the rate of white men of a similar age, reflecting lower incomes and poorer access to health care, a study says. But mortality among black infants is dropping. While overall longevity for both black and whites has improved over the past 40 years, the gap between the races has narrowed little, former Surgeon General David Satcher said in a paper published Wednesday in the journal Health Affairs. Satcher’s paper was one of several in the journal, which is devoting most of its March/April issue to the topic of health care discrepancies between races.
Thousands of deaths could be prevented
Elimination of this racial gap would prevent an estimated 83,570 early deaths annually, Satcher said. Some 10,472 of those deaths occurred among black men who were 45 to 54 in 2000, according to research based on a death rate of 1,060 per 100,000 black men in that age group compared with a rate of 503 for white men.
In 1960 the rates were 1,625 for black men and 932 for white men in that age group. One reason for the differences is that gains in health care access generally have not included black men unless they were older or disabled, Satcher said. For example, when Medicare became law, the average black man did not live long enough to become eligible, he said. Other factors include the relatively low incomes of black men compared with whites, a rise in gun-related deaths among blacks, their disproportionately high death rate from AIDS, and higher rates of heart disease and diabetes, Satcher said.

Question of the Day!

2005-02-24T18:21:00.000-08:00

Why do people insist on holding their cell phones while driving when they can use an ear piece?
This will be one of my many questions that come up each day. I drive around and I see people running lights, running stop signs, and making unneccessary WIDE turns. All because they are driving with one hand. Now I'm not dogging everyone because there are some skilled one handed drivers out there. But come on is an ear piece that expensive? I mean you already brought the phone. If I come close to another person almost hitting my front end because there turn was too wide because they couldn't use both because they were talking on the phone I'm going to scream. Yes they may sound like a venting but I mean really am I asking too much from people?

Eric Benet Apologizes

2005-02-24T18:16:00.000-08:00

LOS ANGELES -- Eric Benet is singing an apology to ex-wife Halle Berry. Benet said lyrics in his upcoming album include an apology, but he acknowledges she's heard it all before.
"I think somewhere along the way, she's heard everything," he told "Access Hollywood" in an interview broadcast Tuesday. "Maybe she hasn't heard the songs, but she's heard everything I have to say."
Ladies is he worth it? I don't think so. He had to go. Halle stood by him long enough but he messed up.

Is Michael Jackson Going to Jail?

2005-02-24T18:02:00.000-08:00

Okay, the jury has been selected and the trial is about to begin. They are putting on trial for molesting a 13 year-old cancer patient. Do you think he did it? By the way, whatever happened to R. Kelly's child molestation charges? I have a friend who is a HUGE fan of R. Kelly's and believe that he can NEVER do wrong. My friend has all his CD's including the songs he didn't actually sing but wrong produced or wrote the lyrics. From 112 to the dude "Romeo". Anyway, it is amazing though how they selected people to be on the jury that once visited Neverland or is a fan. I thought the jury suppose to be made up of people who don't really know the case? Oops sorry this is Michael Jackson. Whatever he is famous for everyone is going to know about him.

Cover Your Underwear

2005-02-09T17:12:00.000-08:00

I was watching 106 & Park today and Free was on there talking about how Virgina is trying to pass a law that will not allow you to wear pants that shows your thongs or your shorts. Now the gov't has gone too far when they are trying to tell people how to dress in the street.

Why Not You? 5 Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt

2005-02-02T14:17:00.000-08:00

Date: Tuesday, February 01, 2005
By: Valorie Burton
Before I began writing books and speaking, I would often study authors and speakers who were doing what I wanted to do with my life. Their lives seemed somehow magical - like they knew some special secrets that I didn't have access to. Of course, that wasn't true. I had within me everything I needed to begin living the purpose for which I was created. What many of them had was a strong belief in their ability to live their dreams. They also had perseverance. They believed in themselves and their potential for success so much that they refused to give up when success didn't happen in their timing. They believed it would come eventually - and it did. I began asking myself, "Valorie, why not you? You could fulfill your dream of inspiring others through your writing. Just begin doing it."

This month, I want to encourage you to simply believe in your own possibilities and stay the course as you pursue them! I am amazed at how often we stand in awe of the accomplishments of others, as though we cannot achieve similar things. If you find yourself doing this, I encourage you to stop looking at what everyone else has accomplished and begin appreciating your own talents, experiences, abilities and potential.

You can have the life you were meant to live and successfully pursue the things that matter most to you, but first you must believe that you can. This is a basic foundation for success. You must expect success - and then take action and persevere based upon those expectations. In my book Listen to Your Life, I talk about cultivating an attitude of positive expectancy.

If a video camera had recorded your life over the last week, what would I say you were expecting? Would your actions indicate that you are expecting success? Consider these five strategies to help you overcome doubts and cultivate an attitude of positive expectancy:

1. EXPECT DOUBT AND OVERCOME IT WITH TRUTH.
When you are pursuing important goals, doubts will surface. Expect them, but do not allow them to govern your actions. Make a list of your most persistent doubts and then counter them with the reasons that you can overcome those doubts. For example, if you begin to doubt your ability to be disciplined because in the past you have not stayed on track with your goals, remind yourself that this is a new day and you are evolving into a stronger and more disciplined person.
Your past does not dictate your future.

2. REMEMBER THAT WITH GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
When you are living within God's will for your life and fulfilling your unique purpose, you will experience "divine favor." Don't become overly concerned when you cannot figure out how something will happen. Simply continue taking steps forward in faith and God will meet you
at the point of your limitation.

3. FAILURES AND MISTAKES ARE LEARNING TOOLS.
Doubts and fears are often cultivated when we fail or make mistakes. We begin to doubt our abilities. But failure today does not mean you will fail again tomorrow - not if you learn the lesson in your failure. So perhaps your relationship failed or you failed in school or at work. I spent my entire first year of college on academic probation, yet graduated in three years at the age of 20 and earned my master's degree a year later at the age of 21. My first-year failure was no indication of my academic or professional future. In every experience, ask yourself, "What did I learn from this experience that will empower me to succeed the next time around?" Then keep on pushing forward!

4. TAKE ACTION EVERY DAY TOWARDS YOUR VISION.
Two weeks ago, I challenged you to identify your vision in the five key areas of your life - relationships, finances, health, work and spiritual life. When you take consistent action towards a vision that is based on your life purpose, you begin to see opportunities flow into your path. Doubt can cause a vicious cycle in which you are paralyzed by fear and as a result, never take action. When you don't take action, you also don't attract opportunities into your path. Thus, you reinforce your own doubts. Take consistent action and you will break the cycle of fear and doubt that can keep you stuck.

5. TALK TO YOURSELF.
Yes, that's right. Talk to yourself! Proverbs 18:21 tells us, "Life and death is in the power of the tongue." Sometimes you simply have to practice positive self-talk. When you are feeling doubtful, tell yourself, "I CAN do this." "It's possible." "I have what it takes." Speak positively about yourself and your circumstances, and you will discover new strength to move forward in positive ways. Sometimes you can't wait for others to encourage you. You have to encourage
yourself!

N.Y. radio station suspends morning crew

2005-02-02T14:12:00.000-08:00

Date: Thursday, January 27, 2005
By: Associated Press

NEW YORK - The host of a New York morning radio show and the rest of her on-air crew were suspended indefinitely Wednesday for airing a tasteless song parody that mocked victims of the catastrophic south Asia tsunami.

"What happened is morally and socially indefensible," said Rick Cummings, president of Emmis Radio, in announcing the disciplinary action. "All involved, myself included, are ashamed and deeply sorry. I know the members of the morning team are contrite. They know their actions here are inexcusable."

The song, a parody of the charity single "We Are the World," aired last Friday on Emmis station WQHT-FM, known locally as Hot 97. The station was subsequently flooded with thousands of angry phone calls demanding the firing of morning show host Tarsha Jones, known on air as Miss Jones.

The DJ offered an on-air apology, and the station initially announced that she and a half-dozen other members of the morning team would donate a week's salary to tsunami relief. The station, in a statement posted on its Web site, said management later decided "stronger action was necessary to demonstrate the severity of the situation."

The song included references to "screaming chinks" and orphaned children "sold into child slavery." The chorus began, "So now you're screwed, it's a tsunami, you'd better run ... go find your mommy."

The decision to suspend the DJ and her crew was immediately hailed by groups upset over the song.

"I think this is definitely a step in the right direction," said Ibrahim Hooper, spokesman for the Washington-based Council on American-Islamic Relations. "The egregious nature of this offense mandated something beyond a week's pay."

Others had called for advertisers to boycott the station and for Emmis to fire its staffers - a call reiterated by City Councilman John Liu, whose Queens district includes a large Asian population.

"It's clearly not sufficient," Liu said. "Miss Jones and (sidekick) Todd Lynn need to be terminated, taken off the air permanently."

The death toll in the tsunami is estimated at anywhere from 144,000 and 178,000, with more than 140,000 more people still missing.

Hot 97 has been criticized for poor taste before. In 2001, two different morning hosts were suspended after an on-air mocking of the plane crash death of R&B singer Aaliyah.

Group: Tsunami May Affect Many for Years

2005-02-02T14:10:00.000-08:00

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Filed at 8:28 a.m. ET

BANGKOK, Thailand (AP) -- As many as nine out of 10 people affected by the Indian Ocean tsunami may suffer from post-trauma stress and other emotional troubles for years because of the disaster, experts said Wednesday.

More than 200 mental health experts from about a dozen countries including India, Sri Lanka, the United States and Australia convened in Bangkok to discuss how to best treat the millions of tsunami survivors.

``We can expect that between 50 percent and 90 percent of the population will experience symptoms such as post-traumatic stress disorder and depression, which, if they are not treated, can last for several years,'' said Jonathan Davidson, director of the anxiety and traumatic stress program at Duke University in the United States.

Recovery cannot take place unless the problems are recognized and treated appropriately, he said. The Dec. 26 tragedy killed at least 158,000 people in 11 nations and left hundreds of thousands homeless.

Sensitivity to local cultures is a crucial element in providing post-traumatic care, said Alexander McFarlane, head of the psychiatry department at the University of Adelaide in Australia.

Mental health counseling as a form of modern medical treatment, standard practice in the West, is not widely recognized or accepted by many Asian people.

``Often there are very different beliefs within communities about the nature of human suffering. If you don't deliver your health care in a way that matches those beliefs, the offered assistance will not be taken up,'' said Alexander McFarlane, head of the psychiatry department at the University of Adelaide in Australia.

Some counseling in Asia has been carried out in a religious context. In Thailand, teams of Buddhist monks trained in psychology have been doing outreach work in tsunami-affected areas.

Nearly 5,400 Thais and foreign tourists died in the disaster, with about 50,000 Thai villagers in all affected along a 400-kilometer (250-mile) stretch of coastline on the Andaman Sea, said Somchai Chakrabhand, director general of the Thai health ministry's department of mental health.

He said about 50 percent have had normal stress and anxiety reactions, while another 30 percent cannot sleep or look at the sea. Another 20 percent with severe anxiety show symptoms such as an obsession with waiting for the return of their loved one.

There has been one known suicide: a bar hostess in Phuket whose boyfriend died in the tsunami, Somchai said.

Initiatives in Thailand include 100 mental health teams -- about 400-500 experts in all -- dispatched to the affected area. They have counseled about 10,000 people so far.

The organizers of Wednesday's meeting included the U.S. pharmaceutical company Pfizer and Thailand's Public Health Ministry.

'Everybody has been helter-skelter heading for the bottom line'

2005-01-29T19:32:00.000-08:00

ajc.com > Opinion

Q&A / PETER C. WHYBROW, Author
'Everybody has been helter-skelter heading for the bottom line'
>
> By RICHARD HALICKS
>The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
> Published on: 01/30/05

Remember the old George Carlin joke about the dimwitted seventh-grader asking questions of the parish priest in religion class? "Father, is it true that God's so powerful that he could make a rock so big that he himself could not pick it up?"

We've done some big rock-building of our own. An insightful new book tells us that we Americans are so smart, so industrious — and so profit-driven — that we've built a world so fast-paced and fabulous that we can no longer control it, or ourselves.

In "American Mania: When More Is not Enough," UCLA psychiatrist Dr. Peter Whybrow asserts that the mighty engine of our prosperity has overshot the rails and is descending into a train wreck of greed and unhappiness — a state known as dysphoria.

Dysphoria begins with happiness but quickly goes beyond it, veering into a sense of unease, anxiety and depression. That's what happens, Whybrow says, to people who are rewarded too much. Interestingly, he suggests that our immigrant heritage accounts for our compulsion to push for more. Migrants are by nature risk takers and reward seekers, and we've concentrated tens of millions of them in America.

"The migrant is extemely clever at sorting out complicated situations, especially when there's not much to work with," said Whybrow, British by birth but an American for the past quarter-century. "But we have no experience at working with affluence. We've created this extraordinary environment for ourselves, but it's totally different from anything we've ever experienced."

Talking About Cosby's Agenda

2005-01-29T19:28:00.000-08:00

TALKING ABOUT COSBY'S AGENDA
Staff
Saturday, January 29, 2005

WHAT

For several months, actor-comedian Bill Cosby has been delivering a message: Too many young black men and women have devalued life and morals to pursue a life of low expectations and irresponsibility. Robert Franklin, a professor at Emory University's Candler School of Theology, will offer a response next week to Cosby's campaign. "Bill Cosby may be one of America's best comedians, but he sure knows how to make people mad," Franklin said.

http://www.ajc.com/living/content/epaper/editions/saturday/faith_values_
14af1e7e1337c01500af.html

Why Do Married Men Cheat?

2005-01-26T18:00:00.000-08:00

I know this may be a topic most people in this class may not want to talk about but it is just part of my curiosity. I was listening to the radio this morning and woman called in asking for help as to how to deal with here cheating husband? She wanted to know if she should leave him or if she should stay. My question is why do married men cheat and stay married? Any thoughts?

'McDonald's made me fat' case is revived

2005-01-26T17:57:00.000-08:00

'McDonald's made me fat' case is revived

FOREIGN STAFF

AN APPEALS court has revived part of a class-action lawsuit blaming McDonald’s for making people fat.

A US court of appeal has ruled that a district judge erred when he dismissed parts of the lawsuit brought on behalf of two New York children

in 2003, saying it failed to link the children’s alleged health problems directly to McDonald’s products. The appeals judges said New York’s general business law requires a plaintiff to show only that deceptive advertising was misleading and the plaintiff was injured as a result. The rest of the dismissal was upheld.

The lawsuit alleges that tens of thousands of children have suffered health problems after being misled about McDonald’s products.

Is it really McDonald's fault?

Family Crisis - Seeing it Through

2005-01-26T17:43:00.000-08:00

My husband is currently recovering from emergency brain surgery. He started getting sick about two weeks ago. I called him on a Thursday to tell him that I was on my way home from work and he told me that he wasn't feeling well. I knew then he was really sick because he never tells me when he's not feeling well. That night he asked me to stay home with him and take him to the doctor the following morning. By this time I knew it was serious. I took him to the doctor and the doctor diagnosed him with Vertigo. Gave him a couple of perscriptions and sent him on his way. As the weekend progressed he got worse. I called his doctor on Saturday and he brushed me off as being a paranoid wife. I ignored him and called back on Monday because by this time he was vomiting up black liquid. I rushed him to the hospital Monday morning only to find out that they found nothing wrong with him and couldn't explain where the pain in his head and the severe dizziness was coming from. Finally with the help of the good Lord a neurologist took a second look at the CT scan they took of him in the emergency room, which the radiologist told us was fine, and found that my husband had a large amount of fluid on his brain. You can only imagine what I went through and then I had to call his mother and father and tell them about the news. This was Tuesday night. He sat in the hospital for over 24 hours suffering for longer than he needed because the radiologist diagnosed him wrong. Thank God for the neurologist. By Wednesday morning he was in so much pain that he wanted to just rip his own head off his shoulders. This was a trial for me to go through because we have no family here in Georgia and I have an 8 and a 4 year old to care for and take back and forth to school. Mind you I'm a student as well as a full time accountant/human resource manager. No one in my family could get down here but his mother got on a plane and made it here in two days and his cousins were here by the weekend. I was so happy to see family. For a week I was alone. I had the Lord yes, but I really enjoyed having the family around. He is finally home and now I have to pick up where I left off with work, school, and home. It is not an easy task but I'll get through.

All About Me!

2005-01-09T16:30:00.000-08:00

I guess this was supposed to have been the first thing I was to post. Sorry guys. Well my name is Zeena and I've been married for ten years and my husband and I have two beautiful children ages 8 and 4. We moved here to Georgia from South Carolina in 2002. We are originally from New York and moved to South Carolina in 2000 because of my job. My job again moved me here. Yes, I'm missing NY very much. Everything here closes too early.:) My time is very limited to myself with a schedule containing a full-time job, school, husband (attending KSU as well), and two children. I'm very happy to be here in Georgia but long for the long winter snowy nights. I miss the snow. I look forward to working with you guys in my group and plan and hope to learn a little from each of you.